42-year-old wants 8-year-old and 11-year-old kids to join honeymoon with 28-year-old fiancée, she refuses to let them come: 'I don’t wanna be a mom on my honeymoon'

Transparency seems to be the center of this couple's problems. While we wish their issues were unique, the challenges that come with laying all your cards out on the table with your significant other are recurring themes across the stories of relationship drama we cover here at FAIL Blog.

For this couple, there was already the generational divide between the 28-year-old author and her 42-year-old fiancé. He had two young children, aged 8 and 11, from a previous marriage. Unfortunately, his first wife passed away when the kids were very young. When the older man met the author a few years later, she quickly became a maternal figure for the kids. That being said, she didn't want to miss out on the perks of being a new bride just because she was a good stepmother to these children. Keep scrolling below to see what happened when her fiancé suggested that the kids join them on their upcoming honeymoon trip to Hawaii. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10502412800
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • Here's the deal. Some wedding traditions are sacred, depending on what the people getting married want and care about. For this author, having a honeymoon trip alone with her husband was important to her, but her fiancé did not seem to understand or honor her wish. She felt that there would be plenty of family vacations down the road where the kids would join, but this one time, she wanted to spend the week with just her husband. Her family was even willing to take care of the kids, so it's not like it was a childcare issue! Our hot take is that this whole scenario is emblematic of the fact that there are plenty of conflicts these two have yet to work out with each other!

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    I (F,28) have been in a relationship with my fiancé, Tyler (M, 42) for the last 4 years. He has 2 kids from previous marriage (Kids are 8.5 year old boy and 11 year old girl). His
    via [deleted]
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    wife passed way when his youngest was 1 year old. He met me 3 years later. His kids are wonderful and lovely and we get along great. We live together. I
    via [deleted]
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    do everything for them since Tyler works long hours. They call me mom but they are aware who their real mom is. We have her pictures in their rooms, and Tyler talks about her to them all the time. We are planning our wedding. My father offered his
    via [deleted]
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    condo in Hawaii to us so we can enjoy our honeymoon there. It was a very kind and generous offer. When I told Tyler he was so grateful. Then he said "I bet kids will have a blast" . I looked at him in disbelief and said "kids?!
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    He said yes! I said that's our honeymoon! I don't wanna be a mom on my honeymoon. We can go on plenty of family trips later but this is our honeymoon! He
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    said "I was honest with you from day one! I told you I'm a package deal! You can't just choose me not my kids". I told him I understand but can they stay with your mom for one week?
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    Just for our honeymoon. He got very frustrated and said he couldn't believe how insensitive and selfish I was being. AITAH to expect to have a child free honeymoon?
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    Added later: Ok I said I won't reply because I was emotional. I went for a long bath (I'm off today). I'm better now 1- I was in to him. I pursued him. I thought he was younger. He told me about his real age, his kids, his late wife from the first moment.
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    He even said he would understand if I say no. I loved him. I loved how honest, kind caring he was.
    via [deleted]
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    55
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    we don't have alone time or date nights. True. But it doesn't mean he doesn't say he loves me or he is not affectionate.
    via [deleted]
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    I decided to cancel everything. I don't think he is ready and we need to a have serious talk. I also need to know if he even can have kids ( or he had a vasectomy). Either. way we are not ready to be married.
    via [deleted]
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    CymruB⚫ You seem to be "mom" to his kids first and partner second. I don't think I need to think too hard about what the division in labour looks like your household either. I'm also getting controlling vibes.
    via [deleted]
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    From what you've said: • He's disinterested in marriage, preferring a quick (an unromantic) city hall wedding as it would feel weird having another wedding again after his wife di.
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    • you've never had a 1:1 date with him, only family outings. • you take the primary role in caring for the children.
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    • he's not interested in having more kids now but will think about it in the future. You really want children of your own.
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    • he is morally outraged at the idea that you would even want to "abandon" the children to go on honeymoon and is questioning your character for desiring it.
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    We don't know the ins and outs of your relationship but from the snippets you've shared beyond your initial AITAH post, you see the flags here right?
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    BetMean9864 · NTA. Is that even a question? It's honeymoon, not thanksgiving.
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    Necessary_Future... NTA but also this dude is 42 and he's not ready for more children. I don't think you're going to get any children aside from the 2 he already has. Pretty soon he'll start to say he's too old.
    via [deleted]

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