“He's your son, not your boyfriend”: Mom of adult son invites herself to his anniversary dinner, girlfriend calls out her obsessive behavior when she shows up in a white, floor-length dress

My fiancé and I are appraching our fourth year together. Usually, we like to travel around or go some place special on our anniversaries. For our first year together, we went to a nice restaurant; for our second, we visited a nature reserve. Our third anniversary celebration was delayed by a month, but we went abroad, and he proposed to me! This year, we'll probably just stick to a quick dinner as we'll be a month away from our wedding and likely overwhelmed by all of the planning. 

While I do love my soon-to-be MIL, I'm grateful that she didn't randomly invite herself to any of me and my fiancé's anniversary celebrations. However, this is exactly what occurred in our story today. Not only that, but our protagonist's boyfriend's mom also shows up in a white, floor-length dress and proceeds to coddle him excessively like a toddler. Unable to stand it anymore, our protagonist speaks up, but now she's wondering if it was worth it. 

Author image for Ely Bulnes Ely Bulnes
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  • 01

    AITAH for calling my fiancé's mom “obsessed” with him at dinner in front of everyone?

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  • 02
    i'll be honest i was already irritated before dinner even started bc his mom always has to be involved in everything. she invited herself to our anniversary dinner. we were celebrating 4 years together and she
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    showed up in a white dress. like a literal bridal white floor length dress and heels. said she "wanted to feel pretty too." i'm already biting my tongue.
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  • 05
    anyway we're all talking and laughing and she cuts me off mid-sentence to tell this long story about how when he was a baby he'd cry if she left the room and she used to sleep on the floor next to his crib. okay whatever. then later she touches his face and goes "you'll always be my favorite boy. no one will ever love you like i do."
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  • 06
    everyone kinda laughed it off but i was stunned bc it's not even subtle anymore?? like she's obsessed with him. i didn't even think, it just came out of my mouth. i said "do you hear yourself? you sound obsessed. he's your son, not your boyfriend."
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  • 07
    it was silent. like fork hitting plate silent. his brother literally choked on his wine. his mom looked like i slapped her. she said i was being "disrespectful and dramatic" and started crying saying "i've loved him longer than anyone" and "you don't understand mother-son bonds."
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    he took her side. said i was rode and "ruined the mood" and he didn't even check on me when i got up and left. i ubered home. he hasn't texted.
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  • 10
    my best friend says i went too far but idk. it's been 2 days and all i feel is more angry. like i'm supposed to compete with this woman forever?? be second to someone who acts like she's his ex?? idk i'm spiraling. did i cross the line or finally say what no one else would??
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  • While I am sure that this display of affection was incredibly awkward to witness, saying it out loud like that was pretty messed up. Sure, no one likes a momma's boy, but this is something that she can discuss with her boyfriend privately instead of saying something so out-of-pocket. 

  • 11
    FlinflanFluddle4 His brother literally choked on his wine Bro had always wanted to say what you said imo
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    Enough-Owl-4301 Yeah I got that feeling too. Secretly cheering OP in his head
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  • 14
    jasemina8487 you know...im an only child...but if I had a sister and my mom said "you are my favorite daughter" id be extremely hurt and p ed.
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  • 15
    I do have a daughter and me and husband often tell her she is our favorite daughter, but she is also our only daughter lol.. I can never say any of my 4 boys one of them my favorite. they all are my favorite
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  • 16
    Boobear0810 NTA - I was once with a mama's boy and things got ab ive where they team up on me. He never took my side no matter how outrageous her behavior became. Think of the things she'll do to ruin your wedding, when you have kids, more future. celebrations they do not respect you. -
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  • 17
    Visual-Lobster6625 He took her side. . . . run. You will never be the most important person to him, he will always choose his mother over you. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?
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    Evelisse Bloom OP It just hurts to think that his mom matters more to him than I do. Where do I even stand in all of this?
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    Lost Preparation_835 NTA - But this is a massive compatibility checkpoint. This isn't just about dinner. This is about the rest of your life. Do you want to marry someone who lets his mom compete with you, belittle your place in his life, and walk all over your boundaries? You're not spiraling-you're waking up. Don't ignore that instinct.
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  • 20
    notFanning Girl run. He's showing you now how you rank in his mind. You will forever be competing with his mother, and she will be empowered to pull this sh constantly because she knows he'll back her up. It's not worth it
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    AdAccomplished6870 You broke up with him. And you should. He's a momma's boy and she has an unhealthy attatchment. You never stood a chance. No woman will. Stop chasing him or waiting for him to step up, accept that you broke up with him, and move on
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    Academic Ad_2752 I was in this exact situation. She would hug him and kiss him and say 'my baby, you'll always be my little boy, no-one will ever love you this much'. She also vocalised how much it weirded her out that he was a grown up and loved me.
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  • 23
    They also wouldn't let us sleep in the same room either at their house or other family houses until we were married, even though we literally lived together. They wouldn't talk about or visit our flat that we lived in together because it was too embarrassing or something.
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    They also made it clear that any big decisions would be made with them and not as a couple, and that I wouldn't have a choice about what I called my kids with him or where they went to school etc. It was all so weird. We broke up. Get out of there!
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    Ebbindependent5368 He's not marriage material. Most other men would make her stop before it came to this. But there are those men that are so enmeshed with a clingy emotionally incestuous mommy that they just can't
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  • 26
    function in a real partnership with a woman. It sounds like he may be one of those guys. I think you should not call him. Let him make the first move. Take this opportunity to think about what you really Iwant in life. NTA. At all.
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  • 27
    Ok-Shake1127 This guy is already in a relationship with his mother. Unless he is willing to go to some pre-marital counseling, I'd end it now. Why? Because it is far, far easier to break it off with a momma's boy than to divorce a momma's boy.
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Tags

boyfriend anniversary break up AITAH toxic mother relationships parenting girlfriend love family breakup red flag relationship drama dating
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